Ground Hog Day

Well according to the news Mr groundhog did not see his shadow so we should have an early spring. Whooohoo.. we can’t really complain to loudly we’ve had a really mild winter this year (so far).

I managed to stay at work last night even tho I hadn’t gotten any sleep the night before. but you can bet I was in bed fairly early last night, I managed to head to bed by 1:00 am and I slept until 11 so I guess that will catch me up some.

Survivor starts tonight!! Woohoo!! I hope it will be as good as they are predicting it will be.

check this out for your laugh for the day,

Only a woman can laugh at this. No one else would dare! Hope
you enjoy! This has to be one of the funniest and most god-awful
scenarios I have ever heard of… Bless this woman!!!

All hair removal methods have tricked us with their promises
of easy, painless removal. The epilady, scissors, razors,
Nair and now…. The Wax!!
My night began as any other normal weekday night. Come home;
fix dinner; played with the kids. I then had the thought that would
ring painfully in my mind for the next few hours; “Maybe I should pull the wax out of the medicine cabinet?” So I headed to the site of my demise; the bathroom. It was one of those cold wax kits. No melting a clump of hot wax, you just rub the strips together in your hand and then they
get warm and you peel them apart, press it to your leg (or wherever
else) and hair comes right off! No mess, no fuss. How hard can it
be? I mean, I’m no girly, girl, but am mechanically inclined enough that I
can figure it out.

*YA THINK!!!*
So I pull one of the thin strips out. It’s two strips facing together, stuck together. Instead of rubbing them together, I get out the hairdryer and heat it to 1000 degrees. Cold wax my rear end (Oh, how this phrase haunts me!). I lay the strip across my thigh. Hold the skin around it tight and pull. OK… So it wasn’t the best feeling, but it wasn’t too bad. I can do this!!! Hair removal no longer eludes me!! I am She-Ra, fighter of
all wayward body hair and smooth skin extraordinaire!! With my
next wax strip, I move “north”. After checking on the kids, I sneak back into the bathroom for the ultimate hair fighting championship. I
drop my panties and place one foot on the toilet. Using the same
procedure, I apply the wax strip across the right side of the bikini line, covering the right half of my vagina and stretching down to the inside of my butt cheek (Yes, it was a long strip). I inhale deeply and brace myself….RRRRIIIIIIPPPPPPPP!!!!!!!!

I’m Blind!!!!! Blinded from pain!!!!!!… OH DEAR GOD !!!!!!!
I’m making noises that only dogs can hear ..
Vision slowly returning, I notice that I’ve only managed to pull
off half of the strip. S**T!!!

Another deep breath and RRIIPP…….
Everything is swirly and spotted. I cannot breath or speak -
have forgotten how .. Do I hear crashing drums?????

Wait a few minutes and I’m back to normal (nearly) After all
this I want to see my trophy !!! – A wax covered strip with my
hairy pelt that has caused me so much pain, sticking to it. I want to
revel in the glory that is my triumph over body hair. I hold up
the strip! There’s no hair on it!Where is the hair?? WHERE IS THE WAX?

Slowly I ease my head down, foot still perched on the toilet. I see the hair… The hair that should be on the strip. I touch. I am touching wax. S**T!!!
I run my fingers over the most sensitive part of my body,
which is now covered in cold wax and matted hair.
Then I make the next BIG mistake. . . . . .

Remember, my foot is still propped up on the toilet. I know I
need to do something, so I put my foot down.
DAMN!!! I hear the slamming of the cell door.

Vagina? Sealed shut!

Butt?? Sealed shut!!!
I penguin walk around the bathroom, trying to figure out what
to do and think to myself, “Please don’t let me get the urge to poop.
My head may pop off.” Hot water!! Hot water melts wax!! I’ll
run the hottest water I can stand into the bathtub, get in,
immerse the wax covered bits and the wax should melt and I can gently wipe it off, right??

WRONG!!!!

I get in the tub – The water is slightly hotter than that used to
torture prisoners of war or sterilize surgical equipment – I sit.
Now, the only thing worse that having your nether businesses glued
together is having them glued together and then glued to the
bottom of the tub. In scalding hot water!! (Which, by the way,
doesn’t melt cold wax) So, now I’m stuck to the bottom of the tub!!! God bless the
man who convinced me I should have a phone in the bathroom!!! I
call my friend, thinking surely she’s waxed before and has come
secret of how to get me undone. It’s a very good conversation starter, “So my butt and
foo~foo are stuck to the bottom of the tub! There is a slight pause.
She doesn’t have a secret trick, but does try to hide the
laughter from me. She wants to know exactly where the wax is
located. “Are we talking buttock cheek or is it covering – you know –
Everywhere (cringe factor 20000 at this point) ?”
She’s laughing out loud by now…I can hear her. I give her
the rundown and she suggests I call the number on the side of the box.

YEAH RIGHT!!!!!! I should be the ‘butt’ of someone else’s
work-night jokes. While we go through various solutions, I resort to scraping the wax off with a razor. Nothing feels better than to have your girlie goodies covered in hot wax, glued shut, stuck to the tub in superhot water, andthen dry shaving the sticky wax off!!! By now, the brain is not working, dignity has taken a major hike and I slip into glazed
donut land. My friend is still talking with me and my hand reaches towards the saving grace…The lotion they give you to remove the excess wax. What do I really have to lose at this point. I rub some on

and OH MY GOD!!!!!

The scream probably woke the kids, scared the dickens out of
my friend, but I really don’t care!!

“IT WORKS!! IT WORKS!!”
I get a hearty congratulation from my friend and she hangs
up. I successfully remove the remainder of the wax and then notice,
to my grief and despair…

THE HAIR IS STILL THERE… ALL OF IT!!!!!!!!!!!
So, I shaved it off. Heck, I’m numb at this point.
Next week I’m going to try hair colour . . . . . . .